the “nature of child versus adult” —
are those really as separate, as we are to believe?
i mean, can’t we avoid overblown statements or sweeping proclamations about life?
[and] can’t we agree on selfishness,
inevitability, responsibility… forgiveness?
forgiveness. something that had seemed contrary to reason for quite some time now. to [forgive] those who’ve wronged me, who’ve i wronged, intentionally or not, and most importantly — myself. bringing myself to learn the doses of benevolence and mercy every fiber of my being deserved. to [realize] it was time to let go and the people, places and things in 2016 were no longer with me — for a greater reason i may not come to understand this very moment in life, but perhaps seconds and minutes and months and years to come. to [acknowledge & understand] the shortcomings and flaws i had didn’t underscore the facets of this year or my being.
“keeping things limited to your own personal experience and growth limited to you? “
or… are we constantly evolving?
that we are constituted in this eternal cycle — not of what one may call life, not of what one may call chapters and lines, but those very footnotes we have unapologetically mastered to disparagingly neglect. sometimes you have to take on opportunities and go through those experiences yourself to learn what you want, who you are and most importantly, understand what you intend to be — remaining true to yourself throughout the journey’s entirety. you’re going to have to make a few mistakes — perhaps one too many times — to realize the drawbacks. your friends (and a good one) won’t think twice to call you out on it. but once you sit back and understand the common denominator for yourself, that’s when it’ll hit you… and hit you hard. you’ll grieve, you’ll cope, you’ll manage. but you’re not doomed to endure it forever. when i would tell people i’ve spent my first 13 years at islamic school, they’re completely blown away — before I give my take on my experiences and perspective. some raise eyebrows, others give respect. what many failed to comprehend was how it really screws with your head. living in a black and white 4×4 box, your privileges of experience, creativity and individuality snatched away from the palm of your hands before making your claim. your outlook, your skill, your mindset [and] suddenly, your experiences are perceived as so insignificant, so infinitesimal. from march ’13 onwards, I had given prominence to being a socialite; attending every event, associating [myself with] every individual — to the point where it became a priority. where i had seen myself feeding off of the energy and vibes of those around me and accrediting those as my own. three years later and ironically, it’s quite the opposite now. you learn that those you’ve encountered, those you’ve shared memories with, those you’ve driven miles for — whether they are here with you now or not… were worthwhile, in a twisted way or another. ’cause everything worthwhile comes to an end, doesn’t it?
can we somewhat agree… that life is a succession of rights of passage?
a long string of big and small moments, where we essentially come of age.
that age holds no limits of grasping life’s literature and instead, understanding the cycle of creation, maturation, cessation. perhaps it is this very moment of clarity i needed to document my thoughts. underneath all my panels, workshops and performances to all the moments, opportunities and individuals — i hope and pray i am known for more than my monsters. just as my untamed demons, i am a work in progress.
here is to growing
here is to moving forward.
here is to 2017.
here is to…
the coming of age.